What Should have been Ruth & Jay Happy
by Char-Lottieee
Summary: Plot- Ruth couldn't bring herself to take the abortion pill jay still doesn't know about the pregnancy. Ruth still went to the surgeons dinner with out him and collapsed and was taken to the ED everything else is the same apart from the RJ break up.
1. confessions

Heeey Everyone :)

This Is my first attempt at RJ fiction so sorry if its rubbish.

Love to know what you think good/Bad

Lottieeeee x

Based on S24E08 - Not Wisely But Too Well

Plot- Ruth couldn't bring herself to take the abortion pill jay still doesn't know about the pregnancy. Ruth still went to the surgeons dinner without him and collapsed and was taken to the ED everything else is the same apart from the RJ break up.

''Ruth is there any chance you could be pregnant?'' Those few words kept going round and round his head. Why was no one telling him anything, she'd tell him if she was pregnant right? he had to find out if she was pregnant! He kept getting the image of her lying there on the floor barley conscious He couldn't bare seeing her like that she was usually so strong he'd never seen her so weak before he had to do something, he needed to help her! But instead all Tess would let him do was go and collect some things for her. Collecting her things isn't helping he needed to be in there holding her hand telling her everything will be alright. Jay was brought out of his thoughts by Tess hand place politely on his shoulder.

''Ruth's awake now; you can go in and see her.'' She said simply with a comforting hand on his shoulder.

''Thanks'' He said as he got up stretching from the uncomfortable chair he had slept in the entire night as he waited for Ruth to wake up. He walked into the hospital room and saw her sat up in the bed paler than usual, weaker than usual; he could see the emotion in her eye's she was scared, hurting and upset. He didn't want to upset her more but he had to ask.

''Were you pregnant?'' Questioned Jay his voice laced with concern for his girlfriend

''Yes'' Nodded Ruth weakly as she avoided eye contact.

''Why didn't you say?''

''I...''

''You don't have to do anything on your own, you really don't'' Comforted Jay.

''I was scared.'' Said Ruth physically shaking

''Oh babe, scared of what?'' He said holding her hand in his

''Scared you'd hate me.''

''Hey, I could never hate you.'' He said as he tenderly brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face with his hand. ''I just want you to be happy.''

''I'm sorry.'' Sobbed Ruth

''Aww what for?'' He soothed as he wiped away her falling tears.

''For not telling you, I should have you had a right to know.''

''That doesn't matter now all that matters is your OK.''

''I love you.'' Said Ruth truthfully

''Good cos' I love you too'' Smiled jay as he kissed her tenderly on the lips. ''Better get back to the ED or Tess will have my head.'' He chuckled ''Get some rest I'll come and see you later.'' He said as he kissed her before leaving the room.


	2. The blame Game and Wise Words

Heeey Everyone, Thank you for your reviews so far :D

I forgot to mention This is an ongoing fic if people like it

Reviews appreciated

Lottieee xx

Jay arrived back in the ED by the usual Hussel and bussel he walked over to noel at reception.

''Alright mate what's the latest?'' Questioned Jay.

''We've got a RTC coming 3 minor injuries and 1 major.'' Replied Noel

''Okay.'' Said jay as he walked away into the staff room to get a quick cup of tea. As he entered the staff room he heard May, Yuki and Lenny talking.

''Can you believe Dr Winters is pregnant!'' Commented Lenny ''I mean Ruth eats children. I'd feel sorry for any child of her's!''

''Lenny! You can't say that!'' Said May

''You don't have to worry about Ruth eating the baby - she had a miscarriage. you can save your pity for a child that actually needs it!'' Snapped Jay

''Oh mate I didn't mean it!'' Said Lenny trying to get out of it.

Jay just ignored him and carried on to the kitchenette as the F2's left, he started boiling the kettle. he felt like a kettle of emotions in side he couldn't keep it in any more he exploded he cleared the content of work tops before kicking the fridge and collapsing into the Corner crying. Crying for the pain Ruth had gone through. Crying for the baby they had lost. Crying for the pain her felt inside he felt like it was his fault. He blamed himself

Jays thoughts were disturbed by Charlie walking into the room, Jay tried to compose himself in front of the grey haired man.

''Jay? What's wrong mate?'' Questioned Charlie as he approached the young man. ''Is it Ruth?'' He questioned again as Jay stood up and wiped the tears from his face.

''Sorry Gramps I'm just being stupid.'' He replied moistly.

''No Jay you have just been sat in the corner crying now what's up is it Ruth?'' Said Charlie comforting his friend.

Jay plonked himself down on the sofa and put his head in his hands. ''She had a miscarriage.'' He said trying not to cry.

''Awww, mate I'm sorry. How's Ruth?''

''She's okay I think I didn't really want to talk about it and upset her. To be honest I wouldn't know what to say.'' He said blankly.

''Look Jay, take the rest of the day off go home and see your nan and get Ruth some things from home and just go and talk to her. She loves you it's obvious.'' Stated Charlie.

''I'd rather just get on with work.''

''OK well just cubicles for you today. Oh and you might want to stay out of the way of Tess' way, something about a skeleton.'' Said Charlie laughing slightly as jay left the room and tried to get on with his work which he found extremely hard he couldn't stop thinking about Ruth he kept asking Tess for hourly updates.

''Tess, how is she?'' He said abandoning his patients with a brief excuses me.

''She's no different to the last time you asked.'' Replied Tess slightly annoyed with jays constant questions.

''Oh...OK'' Said Jay as he continued stitching up a cut on an old lady who had been mugged in the street. ''Sorry about that.'' apologized Jay.

''She must be special.'' Questioned Emily the old lady.

''Yer, she is. Really special.'' Jay said as he smiled to him self as he stitched the old ladies head up in silence. The old lady; Anne, broke the silence.

''So what's this special girls name then?'' She asked in a friendly tone.

''Ruth.''

''Ahh, Ruth; A troubled girl with the desire for self- expression and companion ship.''

''Wow, yer that pretty much describes her.'' He said slightly shocked at the woman's predictions.

''well i do think i have a sixth sense.'' she laughed slightly. ''So where is Ruth?'' Smiled Anne.

''In ICU.'' He said his tone slightly saddened.

''Oh I am sorry. If you don't mind me asking, what's wrong with her?'' She said holding her head down slightly.

''It's OK. We lost a baby.'' He said sadly. ''Not that I knew about the baby.'' He added.

''Oh love.'' Comforted Anne. ''Have you spoken to her?''

''Yer, she said she didn't want me to tell me because she was scared I'd hate her. I could never hate her and if she was carrying my baby I'd just love her more.'' He said his voice full of emotion.

''Maybe she thought if she told you she'd have no choice but to have the baby.''

''I'd never force her to do something she didn't want to.'' He said as he put the stitching tools down.

''Awww, love she was probably confused look you should talk to her, you do have a right to know.''

''I know I.. I just don't want to upset her.'' He stuttered a small tear sliding down his face.

''Well, only you know when the time is right.''

''Thanks.'' Jay half sobbed and half laughed. '' I'm meant to be helping you not the other way around.'' He laughed

''Glad I could help. Just go and see her, show her your support and she'll open up to you.'' She said standing up and picking up her coat.

''Is you sixth sense telling you that'' He laughed slightly.

''She's a lucky girl, Ruth having someone like you.'' Smiled the old lady as she walked out of the cubicle all patched up and happy she'd helped the young nurse.

''Bye Anne.'' He said as he watched her as she walked off.

More soon

R & R

Lottieee xx


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